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Late one night, an alien spacecraft landed near a deserted gas
station. After a bit, one of the aliens came down the ramp,
looked around, and walked over to one of the gas pumps, where he
demanded
"Earthling! Take me to your leader!"
The gas pump, of course, did not reply. The alien became
agitated and again demanded
"Take me to your leader!"
The gas pump remained silent. Frustrated, the alien went back
to the spacecraft where he was confronted by the captain:
"Report!"
"I contacted an earthling - he would not cooperate."
"Hmmm. I will deal with this earthling myself."
"Yes sir. Be careful sir, I have a feeling there could be trouble."
The captain left the ship and approached the gas pump.
"Earthling, you will cooperate. Take me to your leader."
The gas pump remained unresponsive.
"Very well."
The captain drew his blaster.
"If you do not respond by the count of three, I shall be forced
to fire on you. ..... One. Two. Three!"
ZZZZZT! WHAM! The gas pump exploded, knocking the alien ass
over tea kettle. The captain jumped up and got back to the ship
as fast as his whatevers would propel him.
"Quickly! Make ready to depart!"
"Yes sir. What happened sir?"
"I fired on the earthling and it responded very forcefully."
"Sorry sir, I was afraid that might happen."
"How did you know that there would be trouble?"
"Well sir, I assumed that anyone who can take his dick, wrap it
around his feet and stick it in his left ear is probably going
to be one mean bastard."
