Wisdom
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* Never miss a good chance to shut up.
* Motel mattresses are better on the side away from the phone.
* Never kick a fresh cow chip on a hot day.
* "Sumpter ubi sub ubi!" ("Always wear underwear!")
* There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works.
* If you find yourself in a hole the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
* When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed
and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a
valuable plant.
* One good turn gets most of the blankets.
* Even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.
* Never lick a gift horse in the mouth.
* It's always darkest before dawn. (So if you're going to steal
the neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.)
* Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
* To cheer yourself up, you should try cheering someone else up.
* Two wrongs are only the beginning.
* The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
* Remember: it's pillage first, burn second!
* A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.
* Good quality underwear is worth the extra cost.
* Eat horse dung, 50 zillion flies can't be all wrong!
* Don't want to loose something? Put it in your underwear drawer.
* The second mouse gets the cheese.
* The early worm gets eaten!
