APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER
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APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER
NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, and current report from your Doctor. Name:_______________________ Date of Birth:______________ Height:________ Weight:__________ IQ_________ GPA___________ Social Security Number________________________ Boy Scout Ranks and Badges Home Address______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________ Phone Number_______________ Drivers License Number______________ Do you own a van?___________A truck with oversized tires?____________ Do yo have an earring, nose ring, or a belly button ring?________a tattoo?_______ (If YES to the above, discontinue application and leave the premises) In 50 words or less, what does LATE mean to you? In 50 words or less what does DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER mean to you? In 50 words or less what does ABSTINENCE mean to you? Church you attend____________________________ When would be the best time to interview your Parents and Pastor?_____________ Answer by filling in the bplease answer freely, all answers are confidential. A) If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be__________________ B) If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is ________________ C) A woman's place is in the ____________________________ D) The one thing hope this application does not ask me about_________________ E) When I meet a girl, the first thing I notice about her first is________________ (NOTE: If answer E begins with a T or A discontinue. Leave the premises, keeping your head low and running in serpentine fashion is advised) What do you want to be IF you grow up? I SWEAR THAT ALL THE INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND THE HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE. SIGNATURE(that means sign your name you moron)_________________________ thank you for your interest. Please allow 4 to 6 years for processing. You will be notified in writing if you are approved. Please do not call or write (since you probably can't and it would cause you injury. If applications rejected you will be notified by two gentlemen wearing white ties and carrying violin cases (you might want to watch your back).
