In case you get bored, just pop in here and see what's up today. Nota bene! Jokes here are read at your own risk! Some might be, or seem to be, racial, sexual, religious, or in other ways discriminatory. If you are sensitive to that, please use your browser's back button now. You can rest assured though, that the crew of BlueTrue Software AB is very unprejudiced and open minded.
1. How can you tell that an Irishman is planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
2. What's an Irish 7-course meal? A 6-pack and a boiled potato.
3. What do most of the patients in Irish hospitals have in common? They were all IRA explosive experts.
4. How are a sober Irishman and a pound of uncooked hamburger alike? They're both very rare.
5. What's green and has 20,000 assholes? The Saint Patrick's Day Parade.
6. Why couldn't the Irish composer finish his song? He kept passing out after the first 5 bars.
7. There's one thing you can say about the Irish. They're SOT in their ways.
8. What are some famous Irish Inventions? The water-proof tea bag, a helicopter with an ejector seat, and the underwater hairdryer.
9. In Ireland, what is the difference between an ugly girl and a pretty girl? 9 beers.
10. Did you hear about the new Irish drink? It's called the 'Old Maid'-it has no chaser.
11. How do you know that Belfast is so dangerous? Even the cockroaches wear bulletproof vests.
12. Why are the Irish held up so often? It's the only way that they can get home.
13. How does an Irishman tell if the vegetables are fresh? If the label is still on the can.
14. Why do the Irish never have hangovers? They stay drunk.
15. Why isn't spin-the-bottle played at Irish parties? No one will let go of it.
16. What do you say to an Irishman in a 3-piece suit? Will the defendant please rise?
17. What is an Irishman's idea of a balanced diet? A highball in each hand.
18. Did you hear that O'Malley's following his doctor's advice to stop all drinks? You don't see any getting past him!
19. What do you call a Catholic with 3 Protestants in Belfast? Victim!
20. What do Irish doctors prescribe for insomnia? Booze! It won't cure it, but it makes it a pleasure to stay awake.
21. Did you hear about the Irish beauty contest? The competition wasn't very stiff, but the judges were.
22. It's not true that the Irish do nothing but drink. They also hiccup, burp, and fart.
23. The Irish have always been public-spirited individuals. They always drink spirits in public.
24. Life in Ireland is just a matter of 'urps' and downs.
25. There's one thing to be said about Irish wives: they stick with their husbands through thick and 'gin'.
